Hello from a secure, undisclosed location on many beautiful acres in the high-desert mountains of the Mojave Desert! You do not want to come out here, because it's terrible. There is no Starbucks, but there are three feed & tack shops. The grocery store closes at eight o'clock. I've seen more coyotes than neighbors, but the neighbors I've seen have been neighborly, as neighbors can afford to be when they're a good sane distance away from the next house. And while this remote place is only 72 hours away from Los Angeles, it feels like at least 144 hours away from Los Angeles.
Speaking of Mark Twain's most hilarious book about the Western Deserts and the Eastern Sierra, Roughing It also contains a substantial travelogue from his five months living on the Hawaiian Islands. And that's why I quote Clemens today in my new AOL Political Machine column, "Is America Ready For a Hawaiian President?"
(No, I don't what Mental Hospital provides the commenters, either. But just think of it as a tour through the America you wish didn't actually exist.)